If you never read the GM Dave blog from XI, you should, it will give you hours of enjoyment while waiting for duties. Below is a gil seller blog I found amusing.
GM]Dave Goes Undercover *cues up the Miami Vice theme song*
One of the most annoying thing about dealing with gilsellers is that you basically have to catch the little bastards in the act.
Now, if I had my way, even suspected gilsellers would be banned from the game and then a special company SWAT team would be dispatched to their house to "remind them of the ToS".
Remind them with several bullets to the head and torso.
I'm sure some of you are saying "[GM]Dave, you are all powerful and omnipotent. You could simply ban them without proof."
You are right, but that opens up a whole legal issue that is not worth my trouble.
It's easy to ban cheaters. I mean, it's not exactly hard to spot a botter or someone using illegal third party software.
It's not like White Mages get Flee, afterall.
So, we'll often catch gilsellers and RMT in the act of acquiring the gil.
Then they will experience my special brand of dragon-related justice.
But that is only one part of the gilseller operation. The players who supply these companies with the gil are little fish compared to the gilsellers themselves.
Now, that's not to say I don't love killing me some little fish.
I love watching those buggers flop around.
The real fun, though, comes from taking out the people distributing the illgotten funds.
Today, I decided to catch a big fish.
I headed over to one of the larger gilselling company websites and placed a small order.
I don't want to name the website, but I will tell you that those Idiotic Game-ruining E-tards deserve whatever justice (read: torture) I decide to heap upon them.
And then some.
So, I created a character named Mgaton on Fairy server and logged into Jeuno.
Not ten minutes later (apparently, stupidity is quite efficient), I got a tell.
Gilseller>> Did you place an order for gil? Mgaton>> I think I did. Mgaton>> It's hard to remember things. Gilseller>> I have an order slip here for 1,000,000 gil. Mgaton>> 1,000,000 GIL?! Mgaton>> I'M RICH! Gilseller>> Did you order or not? Mgaton>> Yeah, that was me. Gilseller>> Okay.
Gilseller offers to trade with you. Trade was cancelled.
Gilseller>> What are you doing? Mgaton>> Sorry. Mgaton>> Hit the wrong button.
Gilseller offers to trade with you. Trade was cancelled.
Gilseller>> What now? Mgaton>> Sorry. Mgaton>> Inventory was full. Gilseller>> Gil doesn't go in your inventory! Mgaton>> … Mgaton>> Oh.
Gilseller offers to trade with you. Trade was cancelled.
Gilseller>> DAMMIT! Gilseller>> WHAT HAPPENED THIS TIME?! Mgaton>> How do I know you're not a cop? Gilseller>> WHAT?! Mgaton>> You're acting like a cop. Gilseller>> I'm not a cop! Mgaton>> That's exactly what a cop would say. Mgaton>> I smell bacon, piggy. Gilseller>> I'M NOT A COP! Gilseller>> Just take the damned gil!
Gilseller offers to trade with you. Trade was cancelled.
Gilseller>> … Gilseller>> What happened this time? Mgaton>> Did you hear that? Gilseller>> What? Mgaton>> I think this line is tapped. Gilseller>> You're retarded. Mgaton>> Ssshhhhhhhh Mgaton>> They're listening. Gilseller>> I'm leaving. Mgaton>> Wait one second.
*quick change*
[GM]Dave>> Hello, adventurer. [GM]Dave>> I understand you have a reading problem. Gilseller>> Uhh… Gilseller>> No. I can read fine. [GM]Dave>> That's funny. [GM]Dave>> I assumed you must not understand the ToS. Gilseller>> What do you mean? [GM]Dave>> Well… [GM]Dave>> Let's use you selling gil as an example. Gilseller>> I didn't sell any gil. [GM]Dave>> Our new GilTracker 5000 program says different. [GM]Dave>> I've got a long report on your account. Gilseller>> No, you don't. [GM]Dave>> It's got graphs and everything. [GM]Dave>> And a plastic cover. Gilseller>> I don't sell gil. [GM]Dave>> Oh well then. [GM]Dave>> I can't ban you without a confession. Gilseller>> You can't? [GM]Dave>> Of course I can. [GM]Dave>> What are you? Retarded? Gilseller>> But I didn't do anything! [GM]Dave>> Then I'm sure I'll feel bad about this in the morning. Gilseller>> About what?
And that's when I hit him with my Greatsword.
He dropped like a prom date.
Then, just to be thorough, I decided to give him the deluxe package.
I started with a character deletion, then I banned his account.
Then, I banned his IP.
For good measure, I banned his whole IP range.
Then, I reported his credit card as stolen.
Then, I placed a charge back on my credit card for the gil I didn't receive.
Then, I filed a customer complaint with his company for poor customer service.
Now, to organize that SWAT team.
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything!
Skan replied
518 weeks ago